Blah Entry #1

I really have no specific topic right now as I'm on the bus on my way home from NYC. I have to say that while I missed my hometown, there's some things I can happily do without and I'm glad I left to move to the south. So let's do something fun and go over them, shall we? We shall!

1. Garbage everywhere - now in Columbia there are a couple places that smell like who did it and where are they so I can slap them, but they're not on almost every street corner. I was stepping over something, walking around something, dodging something or speed walking past something.

2. Cattle herding - one thing I've always hated about NYC is the almost endless seas of people walking that must push past you or slide past you or try not to bump into you but do it anyway when walking ANYWHERE! Damn! I need to be in a personal bubble so no one grazes me. And to hell with an "excuse me" being said. At the rate in which it would need to be uttered, you'd lose your fucking voice quick fast and in a hurry which is what almost every New Yorker is.

3. Crossing the street - it should be nominated as a sport in the upcoming olympic games. You have to get past cars speeding and slowing down at the same time. Buses that don't give a damn as to how close they are to your eyelashes when they turn and the other thousand people crossing when you do. Boggles the mind as to why there isn't some type of reward given once you make it to the other side.

4. Taxicabs - let me say this: FUCK 'EM! They're not cabs, they're demolition derby and stunt drivers in training. Who plays chicken with the stoplights?? Yellow cabs do! When you decide to be a cabbie its at the point in your existence when your urge to say "fuck it & pay me" is just too much to bear.

5. Alternate side parking - this is simple....I love my driveway and garage. It takes away the worry of "oh shit! Its 3am on a Thursday and I haven't moved my car to the other side of the street where there's no parking yet!" Leaving no possibility of receiving a hefty ticket or tow.

Well that's all I have for now but give me a little time and I'll have more to rant with. :-)

The Art of the Call

While walking the streets of Harlem, I've learned something...90 percent of the men amongst these streets walking to their destinations, waiting for their transportation or just enjoying the city outside know NOTHING about how to properly and effectively talk to a woman. At least not a woman of poise and purpose.

Call me cocky or conceited if you like, but I've gained major confidence over the years regardless of my full-figure and I hold myself in high regard when I walk around or do anything in public. I walk with my head leveled, shoulders poised and relaxed and yes I will admit that I have a nice ass to look at (especially in motion). However, not the first "HEY MA" will get my attention long enough to notice if you're even breathing or not. Not because I'm too good for words but because the approach is garbage!! And the ever infamous comment that sometimes follows rejection is "well fuck you then!" Nice touch Romeo. Really?? It makes me want to go on a massive throat punching spree and you know how seriously I take my throat punching duties.

But I've also realized that its not all the fault of these men because some women that don't understand their potential worth respond to this shit and they think its fly. As for me, I keep moving and although I'm married and I won't take any other man up on a date anyway, its always nice to be properly approached with a compliment from time to time other than "Damn Ma!" Men guilty of this....do better asap.

THE Trend of 2010: "I'm Gay"

Apparently there was a secret meeting amongst those wishing to be more than they are as quickly and as dramatically as possible about how to accomplish such a thing. Then, "EUREKA!!" Someone said "let's all be gay". And there were rainbows being passed around like a hooker at a hootnany. What the fuck??

Now I know many a legitimate member of the LBGT community and I know that this "trend" that some people are trying to hype is getting on their last nerve. And with me being here in NY and watching the so called lesbians attempt to assert their gayness into almost every situation is just pathetic.

First off (and you can take this as a PSA if you like) being a lesbian doesn't mean you have to outwardly express how many bitches you fucked or how many bitches want to fuck you. You probably just made that shit up to look better and it just makes you seem needy for some fucking attention you don't deserve in the first place.

Just because you wear boxers, sagging jeans, Jordans, a wife beater, a too-tight sports bra, cornrows and a fitted doesn't mean you're a stud. It just means you haven't found your individuality so you flock to the first example of what you think a stud is to latch on to. This is not the model in which all non-feminine lesbians have to follow in order to dress like a lesbian.

And who the fuck said a lesbian had to dress like anything in the first place? I've heard this dumb shit too. Its the most assinine thing to grace the atmosphere (well, one of them). I'm all for exploration of ones self. And while I know lesbians that do dress the way that I described above, it took them a lot of pain, ridicule, and self discovery to accept that this was who they wanted to be and had the right reasons to do so. Most of these young and older perpetrators just jump up after getting pissed at a man and decide that it would be fun to be gay.

Being LBGT is not about fun or recreation. Its about celebrating the liberation of who you are and not what society or religion or tradition says you are required to be. And most if not all true members of this community know that they are who they are from very very young. They don't find out after someone introduces them to "The L Word" because it looks cool. So if the reasons you decided to come out aren't filled with substance, then shut the fuck up, put on your dress, go kiss the boy you know you're in love with anyway and sat down some fucking where!!! That is all.

Coach Yourself to Do Better

I'm super sick of Coach craziness. I hate to see women lose their fucking minds over the latest Louis Vuitton. I'm extra pissed when I hear primadonnas plague their pockets for Prada. I need it to stop. Let me elaborate. It's not that I hate the labels per sé. I happen to have very, very close friends that own a few coach bags, wallets and shoes. The reason that I don't seethe at the sight of them is that THEY CAN AFFORD IT AND DON'T ACT LIKE A FUCKING SIDITTY HOODRAT ABOUT HOW MUCH IT COSTS!!! They just like what they like and enjoy what they paid for. I have never heard them say some shit like "...yeah girl, I just got him to pay $700 for this bag and next week he's paying to get my hair did too." And those that make boisterous comments like these are the same causing a scene at the electric company for turning their lights off earlier than they said they would.

When did it become a trend to act like the worth of your possessions?? And how the fuck can it be stopped?? This is bullshit!! I mean let's be honest. Some women dont know the difference between genuine and artificial leather let alone figure out if the tag on a purse is the real deal that a man has given them. And when women act in such a way that displays cocky, too-good-for attitudes because of a gift given. they're not realizing that they've just been PURCHASED into the hype of a name brand means that you're about something.

FUCK THAT!!! I don't give the first two dry humps about a designer anything. Not only because I don't have expendable income in which to purchase but because its just not that important to me. Everyone is going to like what they like and enjoy what they will so I don't judge based on a label. I simply don't like the attitudes that follow some women because of them.

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Pain and Insomnia

What do you do when something is so heavy on your mind and heart that you can't even sleep? When the thought of what's bothering you makes you literally sick to your stomach and you toss and turn from fetal position to fetal position? How do you calm your spirit to rest when you're in so much emotional pain? Now these questions aren't rhetorical. I really would like to know what others do to get beyond a feeling like this. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. The feeling of not knowing how to fix everything. The downright desparation for things to go right and stay right. I'm really at a loss and I'm stressing when I feel I can be feeling better and more at ease.

I've heard that meditating is one of the best things to do. However, I have a problem with that. Let me know if I'm not the only one but, I have a hard time beginning to relax myself enough to even ease my mind to meditate. The things that are bothering me are bouncing around my head so much that I literally can't think straight. I constantly digress within my own thoughts and become even more annoyed with myself that I can't meditate. Any ideas? I'm sure I'll be awake to hear them because I have a couple of doozy's affecting me at this current point in time. Its like I want the pain to put me to sleep or something. Like I need enough alone time to cry out all of my worry and start fresh. But for me that's very difficult as well. Right now I'm restless and emotionally stranded. And all I want is a better way to cope with what I'm unable to cure. Smh.

I'm Not THEM Dammit!!!

Normally I would start an entry with a calm and possibly witty introductory statement. FUCK THAT!!! Last night a friend pissed me off by making the mistake of placing me in a category of other people negatively. FYI: That's one of the last things you should ever do to me. This friend was going through some issues and while I'm being very concerned about this person I make efforts to call to see how their doing, send messages of care and concern. Just overall letting them know that I'm here to talk or listen and I love them. Here's the issue. I'm not getting anything in return. No calls, no messages, no carrier pigeon, note in a bottle, smoke signal, nothing. Now, because of the person that I am, I begin to worry and it went on so long that I worried hard. Then the person called me but I didn't catch the call in time. So I call back. Only to get hung up on. The the cycle of phone calls repeats itself...twice. So of course I'm upset, confused and even more worried. And when I finally get in touch with my friend, they have the nerve to be upset because they said I should have known them well enough to know that they needed to be away from everything and this is how they operate. When I asked why they didn't just say so......(drumroll).......they say that everyone else catches feelings and then there's an argument on why they need to be alone.

I must explain this about me before I go further. I'm not everyone. I'm me. Been me for years and I'm excellent at this shit! I don't give a fuck about what some other lame bitches and so called friends do as a norm. Fuck 'em all as far as I'm concerned. Place me alongside of people that's about something. If you can't do that, well, you might as well get the fuck out of dodge now. Its not even an issue of me doing what anyone else does. Its that whatever happened in the past of this person has fucked them up so bad that sitting in the fuck up has become comfortable. Fuck that!!! That's a shitty existence to walk with. I refuse to be complacent with bullshit and fuckery just because I'm used to it. And the fact that this friend that I love dearly is walking this line is letting me know that they may need to be cut loose. I'm a fucking go getter. Fuck your self impossed stop lights. And I'm out!!! (Drops the mic)

Slack Ass Parenting...WTF??

So right now I'm on vacation in my hometown of NYC. As I've been here without my normal means of transportation which is my own vehicle, I've been using public transportation such as the bus and train. Well, earlier today I had the displeasure of being in the same subway car as a woman accompanied by her four children. The amount of children she had meant nothing to me, it was the way she conducted herself and how she controlled the actions of her children.....she didnt. She treated that subway car as if it was her own damn livingroom. Not to the sense of lounging in pajamas and watching tv. I mean she yelled to her children as if they were at home and they acted as if they were too. First of all, she did one of the things that irk the shit out of me as a parent. She was negotiating with bad behavior and pleading with her loud and unruly children. "Would you sit down dammit?!"; "Why you do that for?!"; "Get over here I already told you too many times!" and on and on and on. And I mean she is screaming this shit. And they're screaming right back. Falling out on the dirty ass floor or the car, yelling to the top of their lungs. At a couple points she even put the oldest one in a headlock to keep him quiet but she's still yelling at the others. Even the one in the stroller was wilding out and she laughed like it was the cutest thing ever. As a mother with some damn sense, it was disgraceful.

They all acted like monkeys but they were all dressed like hip hop and R&B stars. And to add insult to injury, other parents with their children on the train were being asked by their own offspring what the problem with those kids and mother was. Some parents need to get right and step their game up.

I can't blink correctly when my children do the slightest disrespectful or out of proper behavioral thing in public or even at home. Especially in public. And since this is my blog and my opinion on subjects such as this I'm going to say what the fuck I feel. Should I ever need to, I fuck my sons up!! And I say sons because my daughter is only 8 months old. But my sons know they can show out if they want to meet a well deserved ass whooping. Not because I don't want them to have fun or be kids. But because I have taught them to behave and a breech of agreement causes the ramifications of a belt to thhe behind. There's a time to reason and a time to assert your parental duty of a stern session to physical discipline. Shit! The couple of wayward mothers I saw during this trip doing the same shit need an ass cutting too!

I can however, only control my parental actions. So to the woman on the train, I hope you do better asap because theirs still hope. You just have to put in the work. All parents committed to making sure your children represent themselves and your parenting well, positively and effectively, say "Aye"!

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Attack of the Man Playing A DJ

So last night I went to a 30th birthday gathering for a close friend of mine in NYC. I met some new people and had some extremely needed laughs. The place that the gathering was held was fun looking and had a bunch of attractions. We went into the area of the dance floor and it started out to be really fun because the floor was full of people having a good time. Then the man playing a DJ decided to show everyone what a homemade playlist on shuffle built on the best Billboard top song entries completely ruined by an accompanying techno beat could do. OMG IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! "Juicy" by Biggie Smalls was followed by "I Love Rock & Roll"! On numerous occasions the dance floor cleared out only to leave the die hard dance-crazy-because-I'm-wasted fans offbeatly bouncing up and down to a musical massacre. Now let me set the record straight: there's nothing wrong with other genres of music besides hip-hop. But the job of a DJ is to keep the crowd dancing. THE CROWD! Not your 8 drunk cousins there to support you. It was as if the DJ was on Twitter or Facebook asking his friends what to play next. On a couple occasions, people from the group I was with went to the booth to request things such as a stream of reggae. Do you know what we got? One true old school tune and "Here Comes The Hotstepper" by Ini Kamozie and that's it!! And the mixes were trash! A bunch of strobe beats with and horrible scratch simulations. There was even The Jackson 5's "I Want You Back" put to a techno mix! Straight garbino!! We were so happy when the lights came on because we knew the pain was over. Here's the lesson: Just because you have a playlist on your iPod titled as "Killer Club Mix" does not give you the credentials to become a DJ effectively. Nor does a tattoo of a headset, turntables and a cool-sounding stage name. Smh. And I'm out!

Do I Feel 30??

If you're close to me then you know that I'm very excited about my 30th birthday coming around the corner this October 17, 2010. I'm usually dancing around at the notion of it. Anxious about the big 3-day bash celebrating it. Or just running through the streets of Columbia, SC screaming "WOOOO HOOOO!!". However, i ve been receiving mixed feelings about this milestone birthday. Not that, in some cases, I give two halves of a whole fuck about opinions but its interesting to hear all of the different views on what 30 is supposed to feel like.

To some, I'm supposed to be ashamed of my age and do all that I can to keep a vice grip on my youth. To some I should be as excited as a shot of Patrón will get me. And to some I shouldn't be affected at all. Its just another year. What I don't like is the automatic negativity that accompanies the reveal of my age. I've heard things from "that's okay, you can just say you're 25" to "oh...I'm sorry". I didn't pass away dammit! Quite the opposite! I'm so happy that I even made it this far with the loving husband, children and personal achievements that I've got that anything less than excitement for this day doesn't give me the right to even see a birthday. As a matter of fact, I can't wait to become 80 years old. I've got plans for being the most friendly asshole ever! I want the neighborhood children to come up to my property and say amongst the new kid on the block "You see this house? This house is the Campbell House. Be careful with this one. Old Mrs. Campbell will say good morning, bake cookies, get your ball out of her yard and give it to you and she has the best holiday candy! But if you're doing something you're not supposed to, she'll bring out her paintball gun and camoflague and wait for you in the bushes then shoot you in the back and tell your parents that she did it!"

Yep, I'm elated to see another year of growth, experiences and life. I dfon't plan on defining my attitude as a 30-year-old persona or anything close. Do I feel 30? No. I feel like me.

I'm Not Mainstream - Get Over It

One thing that I absolutely loathe is the conversations I have with people that begin with "Have you seen/heard (insert main stream media element here)?" And when my response is usually "no", I am greeted with a battle of my trendiness or coolness or even blackness! Another thing I get are the almost confused pup-like stares when I explain that I don't give a shit. Case in point, I was recently asked if I watch the show "The Wire" and I said no I did not. Not one single solitary episode. I was immediately barraged with "What? Why not? That show is the shit!" I explained (which I will not do again because it's my choice) that I don't choose to watch this show because I have personally seen some of the things that I read the show was about and I choose not to relive or acknowledge that type of content. Done. Period. Should have been end of story but of course not because some people just don't understand that everyone doesn't watch everything. So I get the response of "of course! That's why you should watch it! It's real!" No dammit! It's a fucking show! Actors are getting paid an awful amount of money to entertain! But regardless of which, the bottom line is that just because a show has a hot actor, a song has the number one spot on 106th & Park, and a pair of glasses has a $200 pricetag and a definitive logo doesn't mean I have to give two halves of a whole damn. I don't knock the people that do enjoy such things at all but I do take offense when my merit is questioned by a matter of viewer ratings. I'm just that "I don't care sometimes" person. End of story.

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