Cleaning House

Every once in a while some people feel the need to re-evaluate the people in their lives. I am no exception. As of two days ago, I decided to take inventory of all the bullshit I no longer want to associate myself with. It's high time that I move those negative aspects away from me.

I started with the simple, social networks I'm a member to. One by one, looking over the nature of our introduction, the validity of the connection and the character of the individual. And I had to pat myself on the back because a very large amount of what remained are still there for good reason (I didn't completely finish the list...lol).

Next, I went to the most difficult which is people I would see and speak to on a somewhat regular basis. These were hard to do because my kindheartedness has led me t be a bit of a pushover at times and well...old habits are hard to break.

What gets me is someone that participates in PWD. Promise Without Delivery. Making commitments they know they cant uphold be it big or small. I've despised promises ever since I was young. So much so that I do my damnest not to utter promises I'm unsure of to my children or anyone at all.

I've got the type of personality that people flock to but it seems as if these people are also the type that try their hardest to test someone with good intent by shoveling an abundance of negativity and bullshit over the friendship. No need to ramble any further. Many have been cut. Many more will join the same.

Bless

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Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

Point blank, I feel some type of way about a current situation I've been faced with. And this is not the first time that I've heard or been in such a situation before.

A close friend of mine is having a troubled time in her life and has pretty much locked herself away to...well...I'm not sure what she's doing but it doesn't involve me or our group of close knit friends. And while we're not speaking nearly as much as we did before her life events occured, i still make time to let her know that I care and she's loved. Recently (after being ignored when calling her or trying to communicate), I got to speak to her. She asked what had been going on in my life because she didn't want to speak about hers anymore and when I was done she had an attitude. She said I was rubbing my perfect life in her face!! What the fuck?!

So this is where I am. Trying to let a beloved person in my life know that I'm here and things will get better and she shits on me like brand new kitty litter. Why is it so easy to push those that have done nothing wrong with you away than it is to give an actual effort to accept the things you cannot change and continue with life smiling? I left the adverse mentality of when things go wrong, shut down immediately behind when I lost my mother to cancer. If you don't know how that changed me, I'll explain in short. I saw my mother lay before me with IV's and no chance of living beyond a few days with a genuine smile on her face. So if the problems that you face aren't even close to the cold hands of death, forget that air of self-loathing and seclusion and find something to put that smile within you. And always, ALWAYS treat the one's that are good to you without motive or gain with the love and compassion that you feel you deserve.

My friend broke my heart. And even though it hurts bad, especially at a time in my life where uncertainty is the norm, I will still smile and I will not be "that" person that would do this to someone they say they love.

Do better to deserve better. Bless.

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I'm Going Back To YouTube

After some thought, I've decided to go back to posting videos on YouTube. Now to be honest, I don't know the specific nature of the content in which I'll be posting. But I do know that the range is anywhere between relationship questions and answers to amusing top ten lists.

I'm excited to be working on a project that will allow me a sense of release and something fun to do. I will keep you posted on when I put videos up and what new things I'll be doing within them.

Love the love.

THE MOST HONEST POLICE OFFICER I KNOW!!

Long story short, a police officer that works in my neighborhood sent out a letter and put it into the mailboxes of all of the residents within our community. I posted on my facebook page that I was giving him a major shout out. Without further adue, here's why. Typed exactly how he sent it, word for word:

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE....

We had one of our Residence little child hit, run over, and almost "killed" by a car the other day. Thank God the little child is doing fine and is alive to grow up someday.

PARENTS...It doesn't make any sense for you to have all of these kids and then lay up in the house sleeping or chillin with some out of work deadbeat "thug" guy that ain't even on the lease, while your children are who knows where!!!

SHAME ON YOU PARENTS...if you are the last to know that your little child has been hit by a car, or kidnapped, but because you don't care about where your kids are, you find out about it on the NEWS report on channel 10.

A DEPUTY'S PROMISE...If another child is hurt, lost, or killed and we investigate and find out that the parents were "just laying up in the house" and not supervising their small kids...I will "prosecute you for child neglect and endangerment"... We will "take" the other kids in the house into "Protective Custody" and turn them over to DSS. You will appear before an Angry Family Court Judge who will decide if you are going to get your kids back or not. Usually not if you let on child get hurt or killed.

OLDER KIDS/TEENS...If you don't think people driving down [local street name] won't hit you because you are "chillin n walking in the middle of the road" you are some crazy kids. KEEP YOUR BUTTS outta the road. You won't look cool with tire track on your face and backs...use common sense and stay out of the road...Parents talk to your Teens.

THANK YOU...to those Residents who complimented on the job and effort I give to keep this neighborhood safe from "Pookie n JuneBug trying to turn us into [local community]. Not gonna happen while I'm working with you!

RESIDENTS WHO ARE THE PROBLEM 'N NOT THE SOLUTION...you know who you are...it's only a matter of time before we catch you, arrest you, and Evict you. As [name of the manager] the manager said, "Rolling Dirty." Commit a crime in this neighborhood and I will catch you sooner or later, Richland County Sheriff's always get their Criminal.

KIDS TRYING TO FIGHT AFTER GETTING OFF THE BUS...If I catch any more kids trying to fight at the bus stop or standing around to watch the fight...everyone there will be DETAINED, PHOTOGRAPHED, AND REGISTERED in the Sheriff's Dept.'s JUVENILLE CRIMINAL data base. Parents you may want to talk/school your kids that we are very serious about this...I will prosecute and bring you and your fighting kids to family court where it will cost your kid 100 hours of community service and you're a few hundred dollar$$$$$$$$$ in court and fees...BE A PARENT, TEACH YOUR KIDS.


I'm framing this letter and I'm so serious!!! I love it!! There should be more officers like this. Even if his spelling and grammar aren't the best. AWESOME JOB DEPUTY!!! AWESOME JOB!!!

The Most Wonderful Time of Year

OCTOBER!!!! I love this month! Now, the fact that my birthday and my youngest son's birthday is within the month of October could cause me to be somewhat biased but...um...oh well! Its here and that's what matters. And I'm über stoked that my 30th birthday is literally 13 days away. I'm getting things in order for my very special birthday party (parties). I'm making new goals for myself. And I've already begun implementing changes in my life for the better.

My poetry is progressing also. I'm a co-feature with an amazing poet that I'm a little nervous about but if you know anything about me, you know I will do my absolute best to rise to the occasion. I've been working on some new poems so we'll see how I handle them when The Session Live gets here.

Other than that, I love October just because. Better than the Christmas frantic. More enjoyable than the barbecues of the Fourth of July. Sweeter than Valentine's Day. Just an all around awesome month for me.

Blah Entry #1

I really have no specific topic right now as I'm on the bus on my way home from NYC. I have to say that while I missed my hometown, there's some things I can happily do without and I'm glad I left to move to the south. So let's do something fun and go over them, shall we? We shall!

1. Garbage everywhere - now in Columbia there are a couple places that smell like who did it and where are they so I can slap them, but they're not on almost every street corner. I was stepping over something, walking around something, dodging something or speed walking past something.

2. Cattle herding - one thing I've always hated about NYC is the almost endless seas of people walking that must push past you or slide past you or try not to bump into you but do it anyway when walking ANYWHERE! Damn! I need to be in a personal bubble so no one grazes me. And to hell with an "excuse me" being said. At the rate in which it would need to be uttered, you'd lose your fucking voice quick fast and in a hurry which is what almost every New Yorker is.

3. Crossing the street - it should be nominated as a sport in the upcoming olympic games. You have to get past cars speeding and slowing down at the same time. Buses that don't give a damn as to how close they are to your eyelashes when they turn and the other thousand people crossing when you do. Boggles the mind as to why there isn't some type of reward given once you make it to the other side.

4. Taxicabs - let me say this: FUCK 'EM! They're not cabs, they're demolition derby and stunt drivers in training. Who plays chicken with the stoplights?? Yellow cabs do! When you decide to be a cabbie its at the point in your existence when your urge to say "fuck it & pay me" is just too much to bear.

5. Alternate side parking - this is simple....I love my driveway and garage. It takes away the worry of "oh shit! Its 3am on a Thursday and I haven't moved my car to the other side of the street where there's no parking yet!" Leaving no possibility of receiving a hefty ticket or tow.

Well that's all I have for now but give me a little time and I'll have more to rant with. :-)

The Art of the Call

While walking the streets of Harlem, I've learned something...90 percent of the men amongst these streets walking to their destinations, waiting for their transportation or just enjoying the city outside know NOTHING about how to properly and effectively talk to a woman. At least not a woman of poise and purpose.

Call me cocky or conceited if you like, but I've gained major confidence over the years regardless of my full-figure and I hold myself in high regard when I walk around or do anything in public. I walk with my head leveled, shoulders poised and relaxed and yes I will admit that I have a nice ass to look at (especially in motion). However, not the first "HEY MA" will get my attention long enough to notice if you're even breathing or not. Not because I'm too good for words but because the approach is garbage!! And the ever infamous comment that sometimes follows rejection is "well fuck you then!" Nice touch Romeo. Really?? It makes me want to go on a massive throat punching spree and you know how seriously I take my throat punching duties.

But I've also realized that its not all the fault of these men because some women that don't understand their potential worth respond to this shit and they think its fly. As for me, I keep moving and although I'm married and I won't take any other man up on a date anyway, its always nice to be properly approached with a compliment from time to time other than "Damn Ma!" Men guilty of this....do better asap.