A close friend of mine is having a troubled time in her life and has pretty much locked herself away to...well...I'm not sure what she's doing but it doesn't involve me or our group of close knit friends. And while we're not speaking nearly as much as we did before her life events occured, i still make time to let her know that I care and she's loved. Recently (after being ignored when calling her or trying to communicate), I got to speak to her. She asked what had been going on in my life because she didn't want to speak about hers anymore and when I was done she had an attitude. She said I was rubbing my perfect life in her face!! What the fuck?!
So this is where I am. Trying to let a beloved person in my life know that I'm here and things will get better and she shits on me like brand new kitty litter. Why is it so easy to push those that have done nothing wrong with you away than it is to give an actual effort to accept the things you cannot change and continue with life smiling? I left the adverse mentality of when things go wrong, shut down immediately behind when I lost my mother to cancer. If you don't know how that changed me, I'll explain in short. I saw my mother lay before me with IV's and no chance of living beyond a few days with a genuine smile on her face. So if the problems that you face aren't even close to the cold hands of death, forget that air of self-loathing and seclusion and find something to put that smile within you. And always, ALWAYS treat the one's that are good to you without motive or gain with the love and compassion that you feel you deserve.
My friend broke my heart. And even though it hurts bad, especially at a time in my life where uncertainty is the norm, I will still smile and I will not be "that" person that would do this to someone they say they love.
Do better to deserve better. Bless.
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